The light behind his eyes
by neurotic on crack
Summary: Summary: if you wonder what happened to Stefan during his lock down in the bottom of the quarry, here's my humble attempt at it.


So, this was my attempt of figuring what happened to Stefan in the bottom of the quarry, I've really enjoyed writing it, hope you like it, and tell me what you think of it, so I beg you read and review xOxO.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing, just my head.

**Summary**: if you wonder what happened to Stefan during his lockdown in the bottom of the quarry, here's my humble attempt at it.

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The first hallucination began shortly after his lungs were filled with water for the forth time, it was a combination of a nightmare and a blurred reality, he wasn't sure of what he saw that alarmed him to consciousness, his eyes were itching, the water was almost acidic, as if different chemicals were thrown in the water, his fingertips started to crack slightly, his feet felt weightless, as if he lost nerve sensitivity at the bottom of his knees, he knew that he will heal eventually, but the dryness in his mouth was a sensation that didn't go away, and despite the water being tasteless, he felt the need to scratch his tongue, he knew what that meant, that he was thirsty, thirsty for blood, he could only think of how many years or times he rejected human blood, and how that would influence his body, he has been in the volt for almost 10 days now, or more, he couldn't tell, but the more he passes out the more he stays that way longer.

He laughs, hard and intense, he's loosing his mind, the sound is nowhere to be heard, it must be the water, he feels intoxicated, where are they?

He's exhausted, of how many times he had to shift with caution, so the stake doesn't move any closer to his heart, he wished it would sometimes, but he needed to stay awake, his dreams aka: hallucinations were becoming his solace, every time he witness something or someone, he looses the feeling of hunger, instead the feeling of despair and hurt takes over, he shouts breathlessly, he wants to be heard, or at least be put out of misery, he begs them every time not to leave him, but they manage to, every single time.

His body starts to desiccate, his skin is slightly brown, the cells have died, and his heart had begun slowing circulation, during daytime, sun rays starts to penetrate the corners of the vault, he can see the light, he tries to stretch his arm to touch the corner near to his head, feeling tingling around his fingertips where he tries to touch the glow, now he lost complete sensation of his lower body, numbness took over, he fears of how much time left before he lost it all, why did this had to happen to him of all people? He didn't want to become this creature, he was forced to, that was his answer to everything that he had to face, and sadly it wasn't the answer to this.

The light was too powerful, it hurt his eyes, he tried to open them gently, he was in his bedroom, facing his mahogany bed; the sheets gave out beautiful perfumes, lavender and lilies, his all times favorite, he turned his eyes slightly to the book shelf where he used to stack his diaries, there was only one book there, he marched slowly, lifting the book and opening it to where the last bookmark laid, he found a leaf, it appears like rosemary, the last entry was written in bold, it startled him so extremely, the book slipped away as his heart tightened in his chest; _**you'll always be the forgotten one, and you'll always remain away in agony**_.

His subconscious tried to block out the numbered memories of his misfortunes, starting by the time when his mother died soon after giving birth to him, and how his father and brother never looked at him the same when they remembered her, the last memory he have of her is when the doctor rushed to her room and left the door slightly open, he was playing outside her room with a wooden toy, when he heard the physician assuring his father that life had left her warm body, his father shouted in disbelief "she shouldn't have had him, it weakened her, it killed her", the words echoed in his skull, he didn't understand them then, but they always lingered endlessly.

Normally, his chest stopped rising out of exhaustion, but when he saw her, he remembered how she used to put her hand on his shoulder, tracing his collar bone with her fingertips, slowly rubbing his neck, kissing the need away, smiling at him, promising him that it will be okay, one day, it will all be over, he'll find happiness, he will never be robbed of it, not if she can help it, he finally gave in, he stopped moving.

He floated in the vault, it was relatively small, considering his tall frame, he didn't need to move now, his eyes opened only when he woke up from his usual dreams, sometimes he forces them shut again so he can continue his fantasy, a reality where he doesn't have to fight anyone, without danger threatening everybody he cares about, the endless possibilities, the continuing joy, the feeling of freedom.

His blue eyes piercing throw him as he gulps down the glass of bourbon, he holds three cards, he looks at him questionably, he doesn't believe that his malevolent brother has such luck at poker, he has beaten him 2 times in a row now, and knowing him that well, only indicate that he's cheating his way out of buying him a brand new Mercedes, a bet that was established on solid grounds, if Damon managed to keep himself from compelling people all summer long, he has to clean the boarding house the entire year, and if he managed to beat him in poker, Damon would have to buy him a new car of choice, of hard earned money, which was as impossible as the bet stipulation was to Damon, he laughed of how many times it took them to play a sarcasm-free hand, no matter how much they denied it, they are one.

"sure, you'll be okay, because I'll be there right after you, keeping you from going all rippery on me" she almost let herself chuckle on how ridiculous she must seem guiding him to the emergency room, wearing red stiletto heels, and a black tight skirt that makes her look like 18 years old escort, and not in the traditional way, she huffs out looking at different injuries, unsure of how his first year of residency would be like, she beams at him, resting her palm on his cheek, he can feel the heat where her hand laid, she glanced at him, with wide blue eyes, brows slightly furrowed, and a smile that melt his itching heart, she state how far he came along and how proud she is, she kisses him where her finger touched his cheek, he looks fiercely at her, a smile formed on his lips; "I miss you, terribly".

She writes in her diary without hesitation, as if not completing her thought would be a crime, he approach her with silent steps then places his head in her lap, resting his neck gently on her thigh, she smiles at him, touching his hair line with her pencil, then continuing her stream of thoughts, he steal glances once and awhile, but she seems unaffected, her face painted with sadness, and guilt, a tear drops from her eye landing in his cheek, he flinches out of how cold the tear is, by the moment he lifts his head up, she's no longer there, only her diary, which seems written in blood, what she wrote was impossible to accept as true, but in the same time, real.

"_**I've never felt guiltier, am a horrible person, I lied to him, I misled him**_…"

That dream startled him beyond belief; he tried to move, to fight through the darkness that surrounds him, but to no avail, his body now, was completely lifeless, his eyelids burnt when he tried to force them open, he was now in limbo, nothing to think about, the memories he shared with them vanished, he can see faces without names, it was his subconscious's way of blocking out the pain.

They approach him silently, their lips seems to move, but without a sound, their hands touch him for the briefest of moments, he can feel the tingling in his soul, and he wonder; who are they?

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The End.


End file.
